How God and the bible started.

I posted quite a while ago since I have been very busy lately. I will try posting at least once a month from now on. I have had this idea for a while now on how God was "created" and with that the bible.


It was 2000 years ago on a day much different from today, these people were bored out of their minds doing boring stuff like working and just slaving around. When this strange elderly man came into town and announced his name to be God. The people obviously didn't care much about this guy and the king send him to work. So this cunning man devised a plan how to get out of the work. He declared he was a superior being and was to be worshiped, the people off coarse listened to his stories and he was quite convincing to those micro-brained people of the biblical time and honestly they were quite baffled with everything and would believe any explanation. 


He started the story at it's illogical beginning where he created the earth and then the life source (the sun) after that he bragged about how he created this guy and women who lived in a garden, but he forbid them to eat the apples, not because of a magical talking snake but because he really loved apples.The story went on and he became famous and so he thought of more, he asked the biggest believers to write down how great he is so everyone would now this (this guy had a massive ego by then). He then started making up rules and by then also raped a young lady and then he claimed she was a virgin and she was giving birth to his son because it was a miracle he made. Everyone believed him once again and he started making crazy rules like a man can have a very young wife because lets face it this guy was a pedophile then later he disliked the people that were smarter and killed them saying it was for there best will.


He was also quite the prankster and one of the biggest ones was when he got this guy to build a big boat and take a lot of animals with him. He sailed away thinking there was a flood while god sat there laughing. Nine month past and he saw this guy, Josef, moving in on his girl he got a bit jealous but then relished there would be no parental responsibilities (like work ) for him. 


As we know genes passed on and so did his manipulating genes to his son named Jesus. They would often pull pranks together like when he multiplied the fish Jesus told them to close their eyes and count to 20 then God put down already caught fish and so they thought it was a miracle while the two men sat snickering behind a rock. He would often tell blind people they were also deaf and he cured them. This went on for years and so God went on a holiday and when he came back he relished Jesus had become more popular than him and then forced them to "kill" him. But this prank for Jesus's side only made him more popular when he pretended to be resurrected. God got revenge by killing him himself a second time. All those other laws was what god enjoyed like eating babies, they were his favorite meal after all. Yes, god said it's fine to eat kids as long as they are well-done and have nice spices. ;) ;)


This a good speculation on how this insane story started wouldn't you say :)


Coming in my next post --> contradictions 


Hope you enjoyed a piece of my strange imagination and thank you for reading.